My Spiritual Retreat

I am not a pious religious person but i would like to think that I am spiritually inclined.
Perhaps thats auto-function of being born in a muslim family, perhaps thats because of being braught up with utmost focus on having strong faith..or perhaps thats experience over the years that has strenghted it, yet its more words less action in all honesty.

So when i was told about the almost final plan to perform at Umrah, It made me wonder what good have I done to get an opportunity like this? I have seen people praying and crying day and night to be able to go there, I never did that.
I know people who pray regularly plan and prepare themselves for the pilgrimage, I did not.
but after coming back from that Holy land is when i realized how truly blessed I was to be in that little portion who have had the privelage to perform Umrah

The first step inside Masjid ul Haraam, and I didnt even know what to expect…
I still was not crying or running ahead like the people around me to view the Kaaba, I couldnt phrase what prayers I should make at the first glance…there was so much to wish for…what should i wish for?
Should i pray first so Allah atleast would want to listen to me..or should I ask selfishly just because I will for the first time take a look at the Kaaba?

And then suddenly, there it was.
The Black and Gold box in the centre of the Earth. The object of every muslim’s concentration in prayer, The Kaaba in all its splendor despite of its dimensions looking high, mighty and ethereal.

I forgot to pray, i forgot to blink
unlike what people had said, I did not even feel intimidated, instead it felt like a mother, welcoming, embracing you as its own, loving you wether your were beautiful or distorted, fair or dark, Arab or non Arab.
Again i wondered if HE was listening right now and a moment later i wished for it to rain. Well HE was listening live and loud coz within a matter of an hour, it rained….what more of a sign then this to tell me He was indeed listening 🙂
I felt accepted, watched over. I felt as if I was talkin to mom who knew of all the my wrong doings but I knew without a doubt that I’d be forgiven, who I could convince into giving me what i wanted by being just a bit more attentive, unconditionally give in to my whims and demands.

The Kaaba was beautiful, at times it loomed up above looking larger then life, and at times i thought i could just pick it up with my thumb and index finger and put it in my pocket.

Although it felt entirely different in Madina, then it was like about to appear infront of the Boss, who minutes before you enter, had been reviewing your file…and its ur turn to explain, admit, apologize, or prove yourself to be better

While visiting different places like the Cave of Thaur and Hiraa or Jabal e Rehmat, I could almost visualize travellers in Arab robes with rationing packed on camels, hooded canvases for the ladies. The Muslim knights diligent on Uhad, alert kohl rimmed eyes aiming atop red and white checked hoods partially covering their faces.

The entire experience of coming together with millions from across the world from different sects, practises even ways of performing namaz was of broadening horizons. How trivial are we to still be stuck in the differences of Shia’s and Sunni’s when Humbali’s, Hanafi’s and Shafayi’s can stand together and bow to the same God, with the same faith and the same hope for betterment.

Maybe thats how everyone feels or it could be a personal relation that every individual has with all mighty entities. yet my views are my very own without the intention to appear sacriligious. Also now I am faced with the challenge to ‘live’ the Umrah back in practicality and with all the worldly distractions.


About Marium Arif

Corporate Junkie by day Dreamweaver by Nite Big dreams - Tiny Blog
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One Response to My Spiritual Retreat

  1. Nawaz says:

    A much blessed experience, unlike what we normally come across… May Allah give everyone the opportunity to perform the Umrah and Hajj at the perfect age and with the perfect intention. Aameen.

Bolo Bolo

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