Do i have a friend?

Iv lived thru 2 decaded, Iv met millions of people, Iv socialized with thousands on a personal basis, I sit for 10 hrz a day with atleast a 100 of them, I chat and talk to half of them after classes.
But…who do i call ‘MY’ friend?
A friend of my own, who is with me not at his convenience or mood but all the time. The person i can always find when i look back, the one who’ll support me if i stumble.
A friend to cherish, to love, to care for and to be protected by.

Till sum time ago, I couldnt understand why i never had a friend who was as honest to me as i was to them, why no one ever went out of the way for me as i went for them, i used to think no one ever understood me.
But lately, i think the problem is within myself.
Am i too loving? too honest? too possesive?

Questions arise, get squelched brutally, a mask with a pasted smile falls firmly back in place.
But its only a few days till its hard facade is cracked by the torrent of emotions and questions rising from within.
The next few days are spent in seclusion so no one notices the somber expressions, or the slightly red eyes and the moist lashes, just a few days…
till i cover the stains left behind by the rivulets of tears,
till I fix my mask back in place again.

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About Marium Arif

Corporate Junkie by day Dreamweaver by Nite Big dreams - Tiny Blog
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