What if Love were a person instead of a vague romantic concept?
Would he be just as annoying and self-serving as I imagine, or would love be an enlightened philosopher sitting lotus-style on a snowy mountain peak?
No, I think Love would be a semi-shady man, who would speak using obtuse phrases, and be disconcertingly vain and ego-driven.
I would have my people call his people and set up an interview just so I could confront him face to face. We would decide to meet at a snazzy restaurant, and he would of course be twenty minutes late. He would stroll in laughing on his cell phone, talking loudly, flirting crazily and exuding a hypnotising aura, I would probably gesture emphatically but He would laugh and make some sort of dismissive gesture…like… “Love breaks all rules!!”
I would know we were off to a bad start if he was already starting in with the clichés and speaking in third person. Love of course, would have a stereotypical accent and be suspiciously attractive.
I would clear my throat and flip my notepad open.
Me: “Okay, Love, I want to justify all the pain and misery you inflict.”
Love would look taken aback. This is not the direction he would expect the interview to take. “I bring joy and pleasure. . . .”
Me: “Cut the crap. You make most of the people I know miserable.”
He would be quiet for a moment, lips, as he thought. “You’ve been hurt. . . .”
Me: “This isn’t about me.”
Love: “I think it is. Yes, it’s true, many people do suffer after falling in love.” He shrugged. “But that’s not my fault. Can I be blamed if people don’t know how to behave in relationships? I give people a gift, am I expected to run after you all making sure you don’t ruin it?”
He would be right of course and I would close my notepad, because I wouldn’t really have anything else left to ask. He would sense this and stand.
“I should go. I have a lot of appointments to keep, but don’t worry, you’ll be seeing me.”