to this…

Oh its not hypocrisy?

is it? *heartbroken*

And No, I’m not being priggish and this is not a funny post either yet I may towards the end appear as if I’m not willing to let go of the social divide.

Anyways, this is how we found out.

After a month of being fraught with a new job and consequences of a runaway domestic help, I finally found 18 year old Hanif, who could drive and help around the house as well. His first impression came across as that of an honest and decent guy, thus got hired right away.

The evening he joined work, while making dinner I realized we were out of mayo; So I called out to Hanif and asked him to run & fetch a bottle from a nearby grocery store.

Used to explaining things or writing a chit in urdu for both the servant and shopkeepers benefit, I showed him an old empty bottle of a regular mayo brand. “eik choti botal maa-yo-neeese ki le ao.”
“Ma’am, Mayo? French’s ka le aoon?”

Both I and F, standing in the kitchen at that moment were stunned and delighted at his caliber. We could teach him in our free time and hopefully increase his prospects for a better job.

Later that evening, F asked Hanif about any schooling he got back at his village,

Hanif: “No sir, mai kabhi school nahi gaya, phir bhi thori bohat English parh leta hoon.”
“No sir, I have never been to a school though I can read and write some English”

F: “English seekhi kaise agar school nahi gaye? Kisi ne parhaya?
“Then how did you learn it? Did someone teach you?

Hanif: “Maine jo bhi seekha hai, mobile internet se seekha hai. Mere paas Z ki sim hai aur unka GPRS bohat sasta hai, us pe dekh dekh ke kafi kuch seekh liya. Meri Facebook ID bhi hai aur thori bohat chatting bhi karleta hoon”
“I learnt it off mobile internet. I have a Z sim which has a very inexpensive GPRS package so I tried browsing and that helped me to pick up quite a few things. Now I have a FB ID and can chat as well”

Hanif left a stunned couple sitting back in their lounge and went into his quarters for the night.

However, where there is immense admiration & respect for a guy’s initiative and dedication, and his method albeit unusual. There is also a nagging corner which wonders if this is a safe bet?

I thought of multiple SMS and WAP based programs that can be developed to help people like Hanif in mLearning starting with basic reading and writing assistance. But on the other hand, are we ready to accept people from that specific social culture on the same platforms as ourselves?

It troubles me to think that the dedicated crank callers and dirty talkers thriving on literally free call packages could soon be dedicated online stalkers with the peanut priced GPRS packages.

Go ahead, label this as social discrimination; but really would you accept them?

Day 1 at a new work place is like being an uninvited guest. The blank look on the HR guy’s (The same who interviewed you and begged you to accept the package) face when you arrive in the office, no one knows where you are supposed to sit, how you’ll enter the building or God forbid you’d need a laptop to work on. The horror on the admin staff’s faces when they are asked to fix the electrical boards beneath the most non-private cubicle you just have been bestowed with *heavens* or the worst…not having an introduction with the peon who brings tea, which is why he keeps on skipping your cubie and avoiding your eye while serving it to the rest of the floor.

So now sitting at an empty desk, staring at your cell, re-reading a million year old messages, refreshing Facebook every few second on the uber slow GPRS and trying not to listen to everyone else sounding super busy and important, you try not to feel awkward.

As the time barely crawls by, you could flip through your FB photo album and wonder which photograph of you and your beau should be displayed at your desk, *discreetly crane neck to check if others have frames on their desks*
Maybe you could bring your “Best wife in the world” mug to the office and use it as a pen holder.
Or cut out the little picture of the climbing boy and stick it on the side of the monitor so it looks like its trying to climb up your screen…
… perhaps a bonsai on your desk.

Without realizing you’d open the notes tab on your phone and make a to-do list:
- Get a cute photoframe for the desk
- print your best couple picture
- dont forget to bring your own funky mug for tea at work
- “World’s best wife mug” to hold the stationary
- buy the cute  butterfly wala memo holder from Wrap N Grab

*Feeling a bit hungry you check the watch and its just 11:00 am*

- get buiscits wheatables for snacks
- get a funky notebook and a purple pen (office stationaries are too drab, you’ve gotta like what you note) 

Just then an angel (in grey overalls) comes down to fit in the drawer in your desk and allows you to happily stash in the perfume bottle, leaflets of panadol and nexum and flavored tea that you had braught from home today.
Its good to be prepared!

the relief and excitement that you keep in check when its time for introductions and orientations is impressive, but whoaa, too many people! Smiling and nodding at everyone, you are struggling to remember who is who and whats his JD.

Trudging back to your desk after the orientation, you also realize the only department you know MOST about is HR. (You are so not in HR or anywhere close..Ha!)
Grabbing at straws, you finally message your super busy husband in his super busy well settled job a couple of miles away from your office…

“So…how about lunch today?
You and me…like old times? “
*hearts and all*

Hurray! you shall pass another hour and five minutes exactly without looking out of place and space or nodding off to sleep!

Post-lunch and back in the office, you try to find the water cooler, the cafe and the washrooms. Sucess…now that the chai wala peon saw you, he has to serve you tea with a dash of coffee, 1tsp of suger and less Everyday thrice a day please! So you throw in a “Shukria” in accented urdu just so he knows you are a sweet person unlike the guys who do the “oye..chai lana zara”
The washroom survey shows an array of soap dispensers and detergent dispensers (Hain??!!..but yes) and the next 15 min are spent in fixing your hair, refreshing the lipstick, cleaning cuticles, filing the rough edge of the thumb nail, drying hands…uhh yes back to the desk.

the delicious big stretchy yawn that overwhelms your senses is suddenly cut short by a realization that makes you whip out a post-it and stick a font22 size note on your screen

“Always remember that you sit by the glass partition!”

 4:30 PM…oh yay oh yay!
but apparently your face is so radiant that the lady besides you casually mentions how the work day here ends at 5:45pm and not 5:00, but then thats official and hey, what boss in a telco cares about that right? So normally the day here ends at 7:00 or 8:00 pm

Shizz! *troubled* with a hubby and a home and a life together to manage, you think of scripts and emails to send to the Director addressing this issue… *nail biting* or maybe you’d do that when he actually holds you back.

[Insert missing the previous organization here]

The last 30 minutes of the day you spend calculating how many years will you have to give in to this slaving till you can start your own business.

Day 2, as they say is History!

An year of Jalsa’s, political upheavals, Veena Malik (but ofcourse), young MS engineers (prayers for Arfa) recurring floods, cannibals….what not!
But…this blog post is not about them or for them, it’s rather all about me! (check URL :p)

But before begining, there are a few people I must thank.
Mom & Dad: You have been my life force. You’ve made the person I am today and given how many people love me, I’d say you’ve done a great job. Love you!
F: best friend turned soul mate, I couldnt have asked for more. I<3U
H & H: *big huggie and kiss* …I have my eye on you two :p. M wish you could have been there!
and my friends (NM, NH, S, FB) specially T for being my best girl during my wedding and to FL for letting her be there!

January:
new years are exciting for me since shortly after, I look forward to my birthday celebrations however, this year though, amongst the usual friends and family sat another certain someone who no one knew then that later would be my to-be

February:
A hint of spring in the air. Friend turns into suitor & the magic of valentine’s eve weaves the words into something far more promising.
Shortly after, met in-laws for the first time.
….and then we got engaged!

March:
Sad goodbyes to wi-tribe after more then 3 years of making friends and accomplishing goals

April:
2nd day of the month belongs to my parents, its their wedding anniversary *woohoo* and this time instead of the usual 5 people around the celebration table, its 6
… However, the wedding is in a month’s time and I still haven’t decided on the Shadi jora, didn’t like anything as yet

May:
Is it normal to have a complete god-awful bawling, screaming breakdown a few days before  your wedding?

June:
And the celebrations begin. Starting with F’s dholki, my mayun, the daily dance practices.
within a few winks and  lot of nerves came the mehendi and shadi days, the instant departure to Lahore. Sister-in-law’s wedding and then our valima.

The post-wedding dinners and Lahore touring were freckled with occasional Gorgonzola and Gingeritas at Cosa Nostra, topped with an exclusive private tour of the fort. (According to the fort guards, even Jemima Khan didnt get that!!

23rd June:
The day we arrived from LHR with the flight to Malaysia at night, my cousin A had her 2nd baby’ my adorable new neice Fatima. Perfect Timing =D

24th june onwards
Malaaaayyyssiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and heavy bikes and roller coasters and beaches.
Oh wat bliss

July:
Mom and H get birthday treats from Malaysia…whoopee and I start making a home with my best friend F

August
(week 1) I’m excited, it’s F’s birthday this month and I’m planning a big party BUT I dont know how to keep it a surprise from Fahad
(Week 2) We are staying with mom this week…that gives me the perfect opportunity to plan/organize the party and decorate the house!
(week 3) K (F’s close friend) to the rescue with a mission to keep F away from our place!
(week 4)SURPRISEEEE……. *heart*

September:
- Eid preps meant a flabberghasted F keeping me company during trips to Asiana and Kehkeshan, it meant Eidi coming from susraal and maika! *yay*
Shortly after, my bro got engaged to my cousin, which I’m sure went out as a pretty huge surprise for everyone. All my love to the to-be Mr & Mrs H *heart*

October:
OMG OMG…F got me an adorable kitten..her name is Chinchi I *heart* her to bits.

Oct End
Chinchi couldnt be with us for long. She caught some virus and after a whole night of being in pain, died at 6AM in our arms.
F made a floating lantern to keep her company in cat heaven

30th Oct:
Celebrating Halloween at our place. Had thought I’d make Chinchi wear a bumble bee costume but now I’m dressing up as a cat instead

November:
Its time for Eid and this time its in Lahore & Faisalabad.
Cant wait to meet everyone there, have BBQs, shop till I drop and sight see all the old Lahore areas missed the last time (Still adamant on going to see the Heera Mandi area much to F’s displeasure…but its for a photojournalistic cause)

Nov End:
Heera Mandi doesnt exist anymore *sigh* (damn you Shahzad Nawaz and Louise Brown).
Opted to go to Cuckoo’s instead for dinner to meet Iqbal Hussain and take pics of what used to be the Mohalla and is now a food street (commercialization around the fort is so sad)

December:
6 months being married already?
An amazing new year’s eve celebration this time with F and some of our close friends…and guess what…A super hot job offer as well!
M’s in town after 6 months of the shadi :p but atleast she is here!
what a perfect year MA!

Hello 2012!

Early this morning, ( like 8:00 am early) when I was getting ready for some work.. I suddenly felt as if I had shut the closet door on my face rather then the other way coz …BANG …the thought hit me square between the eyes.

I take a moment to pause, step back & look at myself. Kajal stick poised on one eye…shouting cleaning orders to MK (not mortal kombat but our domestic help)…Stacking neat piles of night clothes in the armoire…

…ohhhhhmygawdddd

I have turned into my mum! Oh yeah!

People who know me can vouch for the fact that I do not do anything else when I have work to go to, I never stacked clothes before and at 8:00 in the morning while being fully dressed? F*** No!

Now,
I have a neatly folded chit of ‘dhobi clothes’ stuck with a magnet on the fridge

I know the atay daal ke bhao as well as the quantity of monthly groceries needed.

Just another day, after having some oranges, I left their peels neatly spread on a newspaper to dry for potpourri

Made effin cutesy tabletop flowers out of toilet paper cardboard roll.

I not only have but also give F the daily dose of vitamin supplements (i have never completed an antibiotics course, much less vitamins)

I made Mk clean the entire bedroom before leaving for work.

There is a jar of washed, dryed n ground ‘khashkhash’ in the spices cupboard for christ’s sakes!
I dont even know what it goes into!

F’s Office wardrobe caretaking is a 2nd religion ( how many of you have seen the waterfall of fabric from my half open closets back then? Haan haan?)

Bills, warranty cards & reciepts are sorted chronologically & filed. (I havent picked up my degree from IBA yet)

This ME person, who never set foot in the kitchen, now makes different dishes for lunch and for dinner Everyday!
….*blurts* Alsohaveapen&papernearbywhilewatchingTVincaseofaninterestingrecipe? :’(

I get an uneasy unpleasant feeling when H (lil sis) hangs out at Forum with her friends, whom i have started calling ‘ Aaj kal ki larkiyan! Mighty disdainfully.

Thought thrice before getting her dance pics from our mehendi, printed for the album.

Aur tou aur I had an outerbody experience and saw myself giving this poor 15 yr old; the same advice all professionally educated girls loathe….”degree milne se khana acha nahi ban jata!”
and then I go through her FB friendslist just in case…

*hiccups*

Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyy… *bawllllssss*

[ps grammer, spelling and format nazis, this is a blurt on iPads to-do list so spare me :p ]

[pps mum, proud to be a bit like you <3]

The adrenaline at the venue was mind blowing but more fantastical was the show of unity amongst the Pakistani stands. Forgotten were the differences between Punjabis and Pathans, Urdu speaking and Sindhis as they all stood shoulder to shoulder, hearts swelling with pride at the sight of their army jawans. Like a single loud roar, the Takbeers and Zindabads of the Pakistani audience resonated through and beyond the human, walled borders.

However, as iconic as Wagah is for both Pakistani’s and Indians the sad part was that for most zealots there, the nationalistic pride came at the expense of an exhibition of hostility towards the neighboring country. I myself, at the point was no different. Had anyone given me a bomb and asked to go running through the gates if my country needed it, I wouldn’t have had a second thought.

But post ceremony,  as the over whelming emotion ebbed to everyday practicality, I wondered why we have not been able to extend our patriotism beyond dramatized chanting, why does our heart not beat to the anthem without the stomping salutes of the soldiers’  feet?

While exiting the ceremony area and driving back into the city, I quietly wished to see unity like this not just during patriotic ceremonies or jalsa’s but in every walk of life. To rise together against the oppressors and corruption that assails our nation.

I wished that fellow Pakistani’s would not look for opportunities to leave the country but instead recreate it, to be the masters of our own future rather than be puppet audiences who can do no more than to sit and watch outsiders pull the strings of our tomorrow

I hoped that we realize the siren’s call of false promises or getting stabbed knowingly in the back by trickery and torment. We have been killed enough, looted enough, fooled enough.  I hope that within us, the capability of being our own leaders is still alive.

I hope that beyond events and ceremonies, WE are still alive!

(Trigger your patriotism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT-brnE7ZWo)

That was my reflex response to Fahad’s suggestion of bringing home a cat for me so I didn’t get as bored as I already was while he worked. I was never a cat’s person, probably because of belonging from a family where cats and dogs were strictly not allowed inside the house and partly because stray cats always killed my baby rabbits.

My solace was in believing that cats were pure evil, a medium for bad spirits, witch’s hounds, snobby and were definitely not a big friendly dog that you could play with. Holding on to my resolve I would try not sneaking a peek in to Fahad’s laptop screen as he would browse around reading up on cat breed types and ads in the Sunday’s Dawn.

“I think I’d be ok with a cat that isn’t black and doesn’t have an angry face.” I announced one day to no one in general except there was no one in the lounge other than the two of us. A few minutes later I was found looking over Fahad’s shoulder and gushing at how cute the kittens in the ads were before realizing what I was doing. “…Ok but not a male, and the cat does not go into the bedroom…Ever!”

I was obviously not ready to come face to face next evening to a tiny Siamese kitten in a red dotted frock! It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.  Smiling at the way my eyes shone, Fahad knew he had pushed over the crumbling bricks of my pretense to not liking the feline race. That little ball of fur was “Chinchi”, my first actual pet.

Transitioning immediately from “it” to “her” and “the cat” to “chinchi”, I was keen on learning more about its breed, likes, dislikes, food preference and general care taking. It didn’t take us more than a few hours to bond and when she climbed up the sofa’s back to rest her chin on my shoulder while purring in my ear, my heart melted like a block of butter in a hot pan.

It became a habit to check on her every time I’d go to the kitchen to get water late at night and picking her up in my arms as she’d run out to greet me every morning. The whoop of joy and a mass sms sent out to friends when she pooped in her litter bowl proving to me that she picked up on the training, even her annoyed growls whenever i turned on the fan. She was always cold.

Our joy, however was short lived. The 3 month old Chinchi caught a virus that caused her severe dehydration and lethargy. During a usual late night check on her, I found Chinchi lying listlessly on a spare carpet in another room, with no life in her limbs. Both I and Fahad sat in the Kitchen all night besides a burning stove, cuddling her close, calling the vet every half an hour . After an hour of periodic drops of ORS, chinchi tried to get on her own feet but fell instantly, her head hitting the marble slab. Each whispered mew of hers seemed to claw at my heart till I could bear no longer and went into my room, leaving my little kitten in Fahad’s care.

At 6 in the morning between crying with my face on the pillow and trying to breathe deeply, I dozed off for a few minutes when I felt a nudge. “Kya hua?” I got up instantly and asked, but one look at Fahad’s face in the semi dark of the early morning and his wet eyes I didn’t need an answer.

A part of me wanted to run to the kitchen and cuddle her, warm her enough to bring her back to life but instead I looked away, outside the window while she was taken to the plot next door for a decent burial.

When Fahad came back home, I asked him if he had buried her in her fluffy blanket, “Yes” he said “..to keep her warm.”

~*~
It’s been a week since Chinchi died, but every time I look up, I expect to see her tiny self walking in the door and claiming her usual spot on the sofa.

Honestly enough, the married part hasn’t quite sunk in yet, though having said that, its a major transformation from wondering about what marketing move should be next to what should I make for dinner today.

And ask any married female, deciding on the iftar/dinner menu is NOT EASY!

Anyways, hoping to make a quick comeback!

err…just as soon as I get my laptop back

more later!

What impelled the construction of mental boundaries with terms like ‘Half castes’, minorities, Mud Bloods?
Who are the individuals giving birth to duplicitous moral uprightness? A new communal order where impressionable youths and hare-brained adults are easily brainwashed & blanched to the extent that they lose all sense…all COMMON sense of right and wrong?

Why is forbearance the first thing lost by people who join various groups? From seemingly innocent house wives’ groups of **-***** [name removed on request]  to the institutes of various orders, why do normal human beings come out brimming with conceit and arrogance on their knowledge, or how many Ayahs and Rukuh’s do they remember more than the other commoners? Or their new found principals actually fed to them by someone else?

Each day, we come across and share videos of teens with blank faces willingly blowing themselves to smithereens, stories of atrocious gang rapes and murders, cases of mob stoning and public hanging.

Has tolerance died a torturous death due to the pain inflicted over generations? A mind-set developed because of inherited oppression? What must have started with the Russian incursion of Afghanistan and spiked with the never ending Kashmir mayhem and goes on to the maltreatment of families in foreign lands – has that turned our conscience to bottomless pits of vengeance where the actual criminal is not the only one deserving penalty; but whoever crosses their path is.

It’s not just them, it’s all of us, our beginnings and foundations have lost its touch. The question remains, is it too late to turn back?

Saturday night ended with my friend’s grand dholki and a grander fever ala carte.

Sunday morning, the kitchen tube light frame, not the tubes but the entire frame with shades and grill simply falls off the roof where it had been since the last 5 years. Thankfully it missed anyone by mere inches

Sunday evening, while about to park in front of one of the sea facing restaurants, a car out of nowhere slams into us and for moments after the bone jarring impact that turned us a 45 degree on the road, all I could see was a car skidding across the road into another and tires bouncing on the road

Within minutes, mobs had encircled my car and the one that hit us and had come to a stop almost 20 ft ahead out of which 2 girls and 3 guys stepped out. After a lot of lies and drama as to who was actually driving, the boys ran off leaving the 2 girls alone to defend their case

Sadly at that point, no security forces could be contacted to help either of us out. 15 didn’t pick any calls, 1 CPLC number was continuously busy and the other was unreachable. Till we called up some people, we were as good as stranded and unable to detain anyone

Anyways, after the usual call the cops, call a more powerful person then the other parties routine, the other car got detained and the girl driving – who also claimed she didn’t have any one in the world and had no money despite owning an Iphone, a 2009 civic and a credit cards – and truly, no one as yet has come up to take her home or get her out of the situation.

When the police finally got to her records, turned out the female is actually a hooker based in Hyderabad!

Whooaa – innit!!

Our car when it came home on a tow truck with the back completely missing

her car’s front left where it slammed into us